Last Day in San Francisco :*(

Alcatraz.

I kept doing my best impression of Vicky every time I thought of Alcatraz, which was pretty much 100% of the time we were on this boat. Arielle didn't know what I was talking about. "Why do you remember all the weird parts from my favorite movies?"

"Machine Gun Kelly had a shiv, he cut out the bitch's eye...and the inmates took turns pissing into the bitch's ocular cavity. This way to the cafeteria!"

A homeless man asked us "Is it true you two are twins, or do you just go to the same barber?"

First, why the "Is it true"? Are there rumors circulating about us already? And BARBER?!

I'm such a tourist, I wanted to make sure we got the bridge in the back ground. Otherwise it just looks like New Jersey.

Chocolate Mecca.

"So whaddaya think, wanna walk up it?"

"Hell no."

Where's Saget?

Ok so this wasn't our room, don't worry, we're not that cheap. Our room was on the 8th floor and I had to pee real bad so I asked the chick at the front desk and she pointed me in the direction of some very creepy basement steps. I got a little lost down there, but what I saw I don't think I can talk about. I was like ... 2.5 sheets to the wind, so of course I did a little investigative photojournalism.

Pretty horrific, right? Would you EVER send a guest down there??